Doubt

It's been a while since I've had the desire to write. I think things just needed to come to a head with my medication and depression. Happy to say I'm off my meds altogether and feel much happier, and sadder, all at the same time. I've tossed away feeling numb and being unable to think and I suddenly feel sharper again.

So the subject today is doubt. All it takes is a little niggle, a second guess, and a couple of things that just don't make a heck of a lot of sense for a kernel of doubt to sprout. Given enough time, that kernel develops roots and surfaces the darkness into the light of day. But because it's concealed in darkness, the truth is warped and until the light is turned back on, everything is guessed at and judged. Wandering in the half darkness, groping for the walls, stumbling over obstacles unseen, reaching out for something, anything, that's solid and true.

Eventually the light will come on and all will come clear. Either that, or I'll cross the room, even if I trip a couple of times and stub my toe along the way, and I'll find the door and walk out. But I'd appreciate if you'd reach over and flip on the light for me, just so I can see where I'm going. I don't really care if you left your dirty panties on the floor. Just turn on the light. Game's over.